Unexpected Outcome
by StarkBlack
Summary: Sanji is devastated by Zoro's accident and believes that it was his fault.


For Sahikochan on Livejournal. Thank you so much for your donation!

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**Unexpected Outcome**

"Sir?"

"Excuse me, sir?"

Sanji's head snapped up. Was the nurse talking to him? No one had paid him any mind the whole time he'd been here. Did he have to leave?

"Uh, yes?"

She was cute, curly brown hair, a nice smile, but Sanji was too tired and too distracted to try any of his usual charms. He just wasn't in the mood.

"I was just wondering, sir," she said softly, "You've been here for a while and he's taking visitors. He's sleeping right now but you can still go in and see him."

Sanji chuckled without any real humor and turned away. "Thanks, but I don't think so. We're not… friends. I just… actually I have no idea why I'm here."

The nurse sat beside him. "I heard his family lives far away. You're the only one he has right now."

"There's some people on a flight right now. They couldn't get one last night, but they finagled one for this morning so..."

A few long moments passed in silence, when the nurse spoke again, she was quiet. "I think he was sad when he woke up and no one was here."

Sanji had to clench his jaw hard to fight back the emotions that welled up so violently inside him. Tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes, but he fought them back with whatever willpower he had left after thirteen hours of sitting in the Intensive Care waiting room.

"I… I don't know," he whispered, "Maybe when everyone else gets here."

The nurse put her hand over his and squeezed before she stood and moved away. Sanji took a breath and turned back to her just as she was about to round the corner.

"It's my fault, you know," he said. "It's my fault he's in there."

The nurse stopped and looked back at him. She smiled sweetly, and for some reason it made Sanji feel a little better.

"I'm sure it was the drunk driver's fault."

Then she was gone.

Sanji took a breath, wiped a hand across his eyes, and glanced around. What was he doing there? Was he waiting for Luffy? Or was he just sitting waiting for, what? Nothing? News? Did he want to be the first with updates on the condition of things?

No. He was being a coward.

Carefully, Sanji stood. He straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. He grabbed his suit jacket and tie from the back of the chair beside him and fished a small mint box from the pocket. He had run out of cigarettes a few hours ago but had no desire to fetch more. Mints would do for now. When he stood in front of room 412 he had a moment of hesitation. A wave of terror and shame washed over him like some tidal wave against the rocks and he almost went back and sat. He almost ran from the wing altogether; ran down the stairs, out to the lobby, and into the parking lot. He could hide in his car and cry all he wanted and no one would see. He could feel everything he wanted to and no one would judge him. No one would hate him.

He pushed the door open.

The room was dark; the only light a small lamp on the bedside table. The only sound was the monitor beeping softly behind the curtain. Sanji moved closer and tried to ignore the painful tightening in his chest. He reached out and pulled back the curtain, his heart aching at the sight in front of him.

Zoro lay in the bed hooked up to wires that led to one machine or another. His left arm was in a cast, and one side of his face was bandaged. He seemed peaceful, not in a lot of pain, but the tears still filled Sanji's eyes and a soft sound escaped his throat.

There was a cushioned stool beside the bed, almost as if it was waiting for him. Sanji sat shakily and ran his hand over his face again. At least from this angle the damage was not so obvious. He couldn't see Zoro's broken arm or most of the bandages on his face. He sniffed, hating himself, hating his feelings.

"What am I supposed to say?" Sanji murmured. "What could I possibly say that would mean anything to you?"

Tossing the jacket and tie over on the chair in the corner, Sanji rolled up his sleeves. He didn't need them rolled up, but it was something to do, something to keep his hands from shaking.

"I shouldn't have told you," he whispered. "This was just supposed to be a stupid training event. I didn't mean to turn it into something… I didn't mean to fuck it up. I just wanted you to know. I thought maybe we would stop fighting or something if you knew how I felt."

Sanji's eyes wandered down to the blankets, to a small spot of red on the stark white of the sheets. His fingers reached out and touched the bit of color on the rough cotton. He balled the material up in his fist and held it tight, lost in feelings of loss and shame.

"I'm so stupid…"

He closed his eyes and the tears fell. They trailed down his cheeks like rainwater on a window pane. Sanji's breath caught and he swallowed a sob that threatened to climb out past his lips.

He felt a calloused touch on his hand and his eyes snapped open.

Zoro's hand slid over his and gripped him hard in a palm that was still strong, still alive.

"You're right," Zoro's voice was gravelly, hoarse. "You are stupid."

Sanji forgot how to breathe. What was happening?

Zoro's eyes opened slowly. They were tired and red with dark circles beneath them, but they were clear and beautiful and when they turned to Sanji they were focused.

"Sanji…" he whispered.

Sanji shuddered even as his body froze. He sat rigid and tense, willing his mouth to work between the tears and the shame and the shock of being caught in such a vulnerable state.

"I'm sorry, Zoro," he cried. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Zoro frowned. "Sorry? Why?"

Taking another breath, Sanji tried not to trip over his words. "Because I told you how I felt and you got angry and left and because you were angry you got in a wreck and the whole fucking thing is my fault!"

Zoro closed his eyes and shook his head. "That's not what happened."

Sanji swallowed. "Then what happened?"

"You told me you loved me and I freaked out. I wasn't mad, I just… didn't know what to do. I was a coward and I ran away. The wreck was just bad luck."

Sanji wiped at his eyes again, unconvinced. "It was still my fault. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Zoro said softly. He shifted his hand and threaded his fingers in between Sanji's and squeezed. His voice grew quiet.

"I'm glad you told me."

Sanji's heart skipped a beat. Was this happening? Was Zoro responding to him? To his feelings? How was that even possible? This had never been—

Zoro winced and Sanji bolted to his feet.

"Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?"

Zoro shook his head, "No, I'm fine." He tugged gently on Sanji's arm and the blond came closer. "Stay with me."

Without letting go of Zoro's hand, Sanji pulled the stool closer with his foot and sat. He pushed all the thoughts of their heated conversation the day before behind him and focused on the Zoro that was here, now, in front of him. They could worry about things that didn't matter later.

"Luffy's on his way."

Zoro nodded. "I know, Usopp and Nami are coming too."

"Yeah, I talked to them."

Suddenly Zoro smiled. "Do you know what Luffy said to me when I talk to him?"

"What?"

"He asked me if _you_ were okay."

Sanji didn't know what to say. He felt like laughing and crying all at the same time. Of course Luffy would ask that. He knew Zoro would be fine, Zoro was always fine. He was worried that Sanji was going to blame himself and shut himself away.

"God damnit, Luffy," Sanji whispered, smiling despite.

"That's why he's the Captain," Zoro murmured.

Sanji smiled at the old high school joke and brought Zoro's hand to his lips. He kissed the scraped knuckles and tucked the hand into his chest.

"I love you," he whispered.

Zoro's lips turned up as he started to drift back off.

"You too…"

The monitors beeped a slow, steady rhythm, and Sanji's heart fluttered.

**END**


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